History has proven time and time again that if you want to destroy a fad, a sweeping trend, or runaway success, all you have to do is make a rap song about it.? There is nothing more pitiful than watching a non-rapper attempt to rap and nothing that enrages the inner soul more than listening to a non-rapper trying to rap.? The 1985 Chicago Bears were perhaps the greatest team in NFL history, throw in the “Super Bowl Shuffle” and you haven’t heard a thing from them since.? The last time the New York Mets won the World Series was right after the team produced “Get Metsmerized”.? One of the latest victims is the Large Hadron Collider, humanity’s most expensive and important science project that is

.? Blame it on this abomination:

If the Rapping Gods are listening, and I really, really hope they are this time, this latest horror show may save the printer industry.? Lyrics follow:


The following are the lyrics from the rap:

I bought a new printer for a bargin price

Printed out some pictures and they came out nice

Suddenly the warning light began to blink

Looked like my photo printer just ran out of ink

So I went to the store, money in hand

Looking for the cartridge of my printers brand

Found the one, but to my surprise

The colour cartridge cost more than I could buy

I found a member of staff

And said whats this?!

Your sign must be broke

Cos its too expensive

So doing his job, he double checked it

And confirmed the price of the ink cartridge

Calmly he says, as he turns

The price of your printer was as cheap as dirt

But when you need more ink thats when you pay

All the printer companies make their money this way!

When we gonna realize stupidity sells

Stop giving up your money to the ink cartels

Wake up everybody cos we’ve all been sold

Printer ink is more precious than gold

If you owned an ink guzzling car

A tank full of ink wouldn’t get you very far

Just one gallon of this printer food

Would cost more than a big barrel of crude

Cost you much more than a pound of gold

So when we gonna realise we’ve all been sold

*******, *****, ** and **** **

Are the real kingpins of the big ink set

But to save

The money you pay

Print economy mode every page

And to get more ink without breaking the bank

Dont go to the store for the brand name swank

Get a refill cartridge buy it online

Get good ink and save money and time

Economic mind through credit crunch time

Quality design with a price downsize!

(song mercifully ends)


You can’t rap. Please stop, for all of us.? Stop.